Feeling Pretty

Today--
Today
Just for a moment
   I
       felt
              pretty.

But--
    shhhh
             don't tell anyone

We're not supposed to be
                                     pretty.

But
Just for that moment
That
       precious
                    beautiful
                                 moment

I felt that
     dreams
              will come true
and that
      I'm not just
                      fat
                           and that
(Maybe)                                  I
                                      could
                                  be
                         loved.

Imagine!
    Me--
         in somebody's
                              arms?

Me, being told those
                             three
                                     precious
                                                  words?
How absurd!

Girls cannot feel pretty.
             It is not
                         allowed.
All we can think when we see ourselves is
                                                             ugly
                                                                    ugly
                                                                           ugly.
"Pretty"
            is not allowed in mirror-time.
Just
      ugly
We think
              ugly
We are
                   ugly
We look
                      ugly
We must feel
                                  U                 G                  L            Y!


It is what we are.
   Never
            pretty.
      That word is not allowed.
   Never
            pretty,
                            just ugly.

Even so,
              I
                  felt
                        PRETTY.

But
         everything ends.
I had to stop my rebellious feeling
                                            of
                                    being
                             pretty.

I had to go back.
Back to
             ugly.
No more
             dreams
No more
             hope
No more
             love.

Taking a deep breath,
           I closed my eyes.

Back to
           ugly
                  again.

Even so--
             I cannot forget that moment.

That
          wonderful
                          hopeful
                                         beautiful
                          compelling
              thrilling

moment
              of being
                        pretty.